Our Two Selves

"Self 1 was like a dime-store calculator trying to run the show, and in the process getting in the way of the performance of a billion-dollar supercomputer, Self 2."

Tim Gallwey’s first book, The Inner Game of Tennis, provided me with my very first exposure to the mental side of sport. Somehow it appeared in my home when I was about 11 years old. I remember avidly reading it and taking all the tennis references and translating them into the context of my sport, golf. I think Gallwey’s Self 1 vs. Self 2 distinction is brilliant. It offers a simple way of thinking about where many performance problems come from: the internal interference that arises when Self 1, our conscious thinking mind, tries to do the job of Self 2, the body. Self 1 then frequently adds insult to injury by criticizing Self 2 for its poor performance. Ironically, this poor performance is something that Self 1 brought about and now is inadvertently perpetuating. Here's a favorite passage from another of Gallwey's books, The Inner Game of Stress:

The inner game is based on two propositions. First, that we all have inner resources beyond what we realize. And second, that we get in the way of using those resources more than we would like to admit. 

This realization came into focus many years ago when I was coaching tennis, and it unlocked a major mystery for me. Why was it that I and my students played so well at times, only to see our games fall back into a habitual mediocrity? In both myself and my students, I saw a continuous inner dialogue going on. While the ball was approaching, there was a barrage of self-instructional thoughts: Bend your knees... get your racquet back early, meet the ball in front of you, follow through... Damn! You missed it... Watch the ball... Oh, this is embarrassing... Come on... Come on ... 

Clearly, there were two "selves" on the court—the one who was actually playing tennis, and the one who was instructing, judging, and worrying. I called the one doing the talking Self 1 - the invented self that was filled with concepts and expectations about right and wrong, should and shouldn't, desirable and not desirable. I called the one doing the actual playing Self 2, The problem in tennis - and, I came to see, in life - was that Self 1 was like a dime-store calculator trying to run the show, and in the process getting in the way of the performance of a billion-dollar supercomputer, Self 2. 

Self 1 was filled with the concepts and expectations of others, and usually delivered them with the voice of a drill sergeant. He couldn't play, but, boy, did he have plenty of criticisms! The dialogue created an inner environment of stress that was ultimately destructive to the goal of hitting the ball well. The more Self 1 was engaged, the worse Self 2 performed. From Self 1’s perspective, learning a skill like playing tennis was hard. You'd have to figure out where to hold your arm, how to get into the proper ready position, and all the mechanics of the strokes. The instant selfjudgment came into the mind, stress was evoked, the stroke was thrown off course, and the results suffered. 

What was wrong with this picture? I started thinking about the body & natural wisdom. I like to describe it in terms of learning to walk. What would happen if we taught children to walk the way we teach people to play tennis? You can imagine the instructions: 

"Hold your left foot parallel to your right foot... lift it three inches off the ground… now set it down three inches to the front, while moving your body forward… then lift your right foot… watch your arms… they should be swinging slightly forward… no, not too much..." 

It’s a laughable idea. Learning to walk is not achieved with a set of instructions and positions. It's natural. Children pick themselves up, move, fall, get up, and try again. There is no self-judgment, just trial and correction. There is both simplicity and joy in this natural learning. 

  My aim as a tennis coach became to help people learn to play tennis ignoring the stressful interference of Self 1 and calling on their own natural abilities.

Ideas Worth Considering

• Performance problems often result when the thinking part of us (Self 1) tries too hard to consciously execute motor skills in stressful situations.

• The intelligence of the body is remarkable; we are capable of amazing things when we don’t self-interfere.

• Though verbal instruction clearly has its place, learning through pictures and copying is often surprisingly effective. Humans are natural mimics. 

• Developing awareness by practicing skills such as meditation, gratitude, acceptance, and relaxation allows us to gradually step back from the over-thinking of Self 1 and choose a different way of being while performing.